you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
