kristin has been a bad kristin
I faked an abortion last night.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
