Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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