There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i dont even know how to be here
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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