so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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