I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize