what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
These tits shall not be calmed
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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