If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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