cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
