jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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