is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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