becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize