I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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