well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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