so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
