i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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