three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There r osticjed everywhere
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
