I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
