8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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