thus making me awesome and them whores
Ketchup is God's man juice
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Omg I joined a choir last night...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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