she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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