The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
