did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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