i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
