Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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