Where did you get a picture of my penis
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
