i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
