We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
