I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
