you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
