i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
