She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize