my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
