So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
