It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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