Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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