Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
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