the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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