let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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