i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
