That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
