Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
