What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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