Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
