hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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