i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
