what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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