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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You guys are open that late?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.

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• (818): View more from California

  It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.

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• (+66): View more from Thailand

  How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight

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• (707): View more from California

  I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"

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