we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
