I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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