she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
