You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
