the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
