I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
and you fell through a lawn chair
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