are you still at the devil's house?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
