New invention idea: vibrating tampons
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize