The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My dad is sitting where you rode me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
