my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
