just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
