can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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