She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were trust falling into bushes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
