1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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