So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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