I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
did you just send me my own nude
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize