she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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