At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize