it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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