hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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