I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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