I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
